AC

fuckkk…………….

Life goes on really wishing I had some love right now. Really wish my life, my relationship would turn back to normal but it’s too much to ask. Karma is a bitch I guess she decided now would be a good time to come and bite me in the ass. Te day was ok. Not the best not the worst and well tonight was horrible and I shoulda seen it coming base on the events of the day. Things are just thin and I’m honestly waiting for the ice to break or thicken but shit can not stay like this. I can’t deal my wall only takes so much before crumbling to pieces it’s bad enough I have lil to no blood family and don’t live at home. It’s bad enough I can’t talk to my lil brothers an well I’m still not over the puppy that was stolen from me and it’s even worse that I can’t have a relationship with my mother the one person I protected from the age of 5. And now it seems the only thing I have left has been on shaky ground ever since I was abandoned by my blood. I dont eat as much cuz i cant stomach it i hate living off of other ppls food. I think i may have lost weight. I dont exercise anymore because i have no way to go to a gym nor do i have space for a personal gym and i dont believe in door wanna be gyms so my body is deteriating and so is my mind and emotions. If things don’t change for the better soon my plan m will take affect and I will put mu emotions away and very simply disappear from everyone that once knew me. Either that or I’ll just quit school and be a bum just like he wants me too.

Probably the worst time for me to see something like that then sit here and go hmmm if only. It’s hard to keep real emotions when none are so much easier to have. Just think hakuna matata that’s who I am. I am, or should I say I was the definition of hakuna matata…

OMO for the day. The funny thing is the toilet has been swirling but I think it finally flushed lol